Tuesday, September 3, 2013

My one year anniversary

Today marks one year since I first stepped foot on African soil, one year since I heard children screaming "Auntie Laura is here, Auntie Laura is here!". I will never forget the sounds of those sweet voices, or forget swooping Carol up in my arms for the first time, never forget the scene of them praising God that first night with old familiar songs and brand new ones, English ones and ones in Luganda.

One year, and time, as always, has fleeted too fast.

What has happened since I left? What has changed in me since I've been home? Well here are a few things:
1. I learned how to pray. I wasn't praying correctly before. (I might get a lecture from a pastor or Sunday School teacher for saying this, but hear me out, I know I've always been taught there is no right way to pray!) I learned that when I pray for God's will, for things that are less "God, please do this for me" and instead pray, "God, I wish for your will to be done in this situation" I walk away more satisfied. I might be praying for a friends' father who is on his death bed and my prayer isn't "Father please save him", it's "Father, I ask that you provide him with compassionate nurses and competent doctors, you give him peace and comfort and that Father, if it is your will, that you take him into your arms, and be with those that are left grieving". So much harder to do, because you want healing and recovery, but in the end, it's not my will, or your will, it's His will! And whatever the outcome, I get an answer to my prayer!
2. I've become disciplined in tithing. I used to give something around 5%, but never anything consistent and if I was running low I gave less, but now, after seeing the faithfulness of those with nothing always giving, and giving cheerfully, I have disciplined myself to give 10%, and sometimes above and beyond in various ways.
3. I've learned how to constantly be in His word. I wake up and do a devotion and greet the Lord with a smile and thankful heart. Mid-day I check out my Holy Bible app and read my verse of the day and then perhaps some more. And every night before bed I read a chapter of the Bible, I'm getting close to the end of Psalms now. And I've recently started reading it with my boyfriend because we need to spend more time in the word together.
4. I've learned deep in my soul that if you do what He asks you to do you are making Him so happy that He will bless your life immensely! I came back broke from Africa and yet was able to save enough money to buy my first house this year! I was able to experience the miracle of birth by seeing my little, most adorable nephew enter this world. Since asking my boss for 3 months off to go to Africa I've received a promotion and about $10K in raises because of my dedication and performance.
5. I am slowly, but steadily, learning patience. I am learning be slow to speak and slow to anger. I'm not reacting so impulsively and defensively but allowing things to sink in and for my feelings to be processed before making any moves.
6. I am constantly fostering the importance of service and love in my life and I'm continuing to teach it to as many people as I can, because Jesus was the ultimate servant and who wouldn't want to be like him?! Almost every week since New Year's I made a resolution to write an email or mail a card to someone I'm thankful for or someone that needs an encouraging word. This type of ministry can be done by anyone at any time regardless of faith, because amidst all the talk of Syria and broken homes and murderers and the like, we all need some more encouragement to do good and to keep on keeping on.
7. I've come to realize that my music preference has changed. I still love some good old school hip-hop, but my I-pod tells me my most played music is something by Hillsong United or Jesus Culture. I spend more time listening to the Praise station or the Message than I do old school or reggae.

One year later, changed, but still the same me, just a better version of me, all cause He loves me that much and all cause I said, "Yes, I'll heed your call and fly across the world to serve in Your name!".




Sunday, April 21, 2013

Blessings & Vision

Its been almost 5 months since I've left the beautiful country of Uganda, since I've left 12 beautiful orphaned faces, and thousands of people who struggle every day for the simple provisions of life that I have been blessed with in my life here in America. A loving family, a home, an abundance of food and clean water, supportive and loving friends, a warm shower, a free education, an ability to praise my God freely, furnishings and clothing. I am truly blessed.
This past week I was reminded of the joy to feel a warm, pressurized shower, one that I didn't have for 3 months in Uganda, albeit, they did try to provide one. And then this afternoon in the warmth of the sun I stood in awe of the beauty of God's creation, in the budding hope of spring flowers and musical birds. I am truly blessed.
I've considered writing more in my blog from time to time, will anyone read it? Does it matter if anyone does? No. So I write just the same to remind myself of my blessings and to contemplate again why God called me to Africa, and to be reminded of my purpose.
Last night as I spoke with a friend I was once again so astounded by the ease of my life and how that is a blessing. I haven't struggled the way so many others do, from abusive relationships to struggles of addiction, from depression to loneliness. It's not that their haven't been any struggles, it's that there have been so many moments that mask those struggles that I can easily forget, or forgive. It is easy for me not to dwell on the difficult moments because I can see the beauty of the world and want to quench it's peoples' needs.
I have been contemplating all this in search of my Chazown, the Hebrew word for God's vision for my life. I wonder how did my journey to Africa support this vision? As I've stated before I am a bulldozer when it comes to tasks and getting things done, but God has made me compassionate for people, and so I make sure not to bulldoze people, or at least try my hardest not to. Everyone has their story and their story matters, and everyone wants their story to be heard. As I contemplate the potential of transforming a ministry I lead into a non-profit and potentially a CDC (perhaps my Chazown), I know that Africa helped me realize the tenderness of people, the sensitivity of people's hearts and the need to help others find their path, even if it's only serving a hot meal, or listening to them share their story.
In Proverbs 16:9 it says "In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.". Between heeding the call to Africa and the months since I've returned I've been challenged through great sermons and good book selections to embrace God's vision for my life and to move ahead with faith and courage. Love Faith Build, Laura Faith Beverley, is ready to embrace the next step.