Saying good-bye & getting wrecked

After a fitful night of sleep I awoke before 7 to finish packing my bags and make sure I was ready for the day. I took a walk to buy eggs one last time for the children's breakfast and came back to help ready them for the day. I still helped with breakfast and cleaning as I usually do and kept things normal. But at 11 I asked Auntie Cassady to take a few photos and then I had a treat for everyone.

Two weeks ago I took all the toilet paper rolls I had been saving and decorated them with colorful sharpie markers: flowers for the girls, big circles for the boys and stars for the staff. Then I wrote each person a letter and rolled it up inside the t.p. roll; something I love about them, something they should keep working on, and how much I love them. I stuffed a chocolate and some hard candy inside and then wrapped it in wrapping paper and tied the ends so it looked like a candy; my last sweeties for them.

The tears began as I read Annet what I wrote for her. Luckily I quickly recovered from crying, Annet has been super emotional over not being visited by any family members and then from Auntie Jo leaving the other night, I didn't want to precipitate any more tears. Then after the excitement of the sweeties, they all stretched out their hands and Annet prayed for me and my journey and then Auntie Esther elaborated, and I had a few more tears. Auntie Monica had many tears, and beautiful words for me that Auntie Sarah translated. Then dear Annet began to bawl, then Oscar started in and finally Cocus. Annet was still crying as I left, poor baby girl (and that is my nickname for her, 'baby girl').

The whole good-bye process took an hour. And at 12:10 it was time to go. The van didn't start, the battery was dead; 'God are you telling me to stay?', I thought. But quickly we got it jumped and again, it was good-bye. The traffic was horrific, it took us 40 minutes to go 6 km and again I thought, 'God are you telling me to stay?'. But with only a few minutes to spare I made it through all security measures and boarded the plane immediately.

Maybe I'll be back one day.

On my way home I'm reading Wrecked again, as I did on my way to Uganda. Although I'm grateful to hear the words that I've done so much, I think about the babies at Sanyu that still don't have a mommy to love them, to our children at Rafiki who only have aunties and uncles, to the street kids who mostly will remain that way. Wrecked says, "In a world that refuses to be healed, we must face the fact that we are not the heroes of our stories." I can not solve the world's problems, nor Uganda's, but my heart will be forever wrecked for the children of Rafiki Africa Ministries, and for all the other abandoned children of the world.

Just as the Father loves me, and you, and these children; I will forever have them in my heart. And I guess I now know what people were warning me about, the heart-breaking, heart-wrenching literal good-bye, but also the figurative good-bye to life as it was before.