Dubai & Home sweet home

I arrived home yesterday afternoon after a 14 hour flight and headed straight to Times Square for dinner with my family and Oscar.

In mid-flight I wrote this:

I'm actually starting to freak out about heading home, not a good thing to do when you're by yourself on a 14 hour flight. Since leaving Uganda I can't seem to stop myself from looking at pictures of the kids, which precipitates tears, because I should have been there when they woke up this morning, I should be planning activities for them this afternoon and playing with them right now. Living there really became 'normal' life for me. It wasn't a vacation, nor a quick volunteer experience, it was every day of my life for 3 months.

Two things are not helping my emotional state (besides the fact that I've slept maybe 9 hours in the past two nights combined):

1. Reading Wrecked is actually making me realize that I've gone on this trip, I've left my comfort zone and I don't know if going back to my old job, my old house, my old everything is going to work for me. And if it doesn't work for me, then I don't have any clue what my alternative is. Or was this just a 3 month repasse from my life because I knew there was more than 9 to 5 and wanted to seek some adventure, some sense of purpose, but I sought it, found it and will go back to my 9 to 5 to continue on. Or, if I want my life to mean something, if I want to do all I can to help others, then how can I even go back to life as it was.

2. I clicked on the favorites on the headset in front of me and the only song selected as a favorite by a previous passenger is Amazing Grace. Not only is it a beautiful song full of meaningful lyrics, but it's the song I sing to the kids every night at bedtime.

I was distracted in Dubai by my dear friend and her new baby, but that distraction is gone and my reality has set in. I am going home; but what am I going to make of it, how am I going to use this trip to change my regular 9 to 5 experience...time will only tell.

Thanks for joining me in the last 3 months of my life. It's been quite an adventure.
If you are interested in having me discuss my mission experience at your church, please email me at Laurabev@aol.com and I'd be happy to set something up in the coming weeks.

Many blessings to you and yours this Christmas season.

　

Saying good-bye & getting wrecked

After a fitful night of sleep I awoke before 7 to finish packing my bags and make sure I was ready for the day. I took a walk to buy eggs one last time for the children's breakfast and came back to help ready them for the day. I still helped with breakfast and cleaning as I usually do and kept things normal. But at 11 I asked Auntie Cassady to take a few photos and then I had a treat for everyone.

Two weeks ago I took all the toilet paper rolls I had been saving and decorated them with colorful sharpie markers: flowers for the girls, big circles for the boys and stars for the staff. Then I wrote each person a letter and rolled it up inside the t.p. roll; something I love about them, something they should keep working on, and how much I love them. I stuffed a chocolate and some hard candy inside and then wrapped it in wrapping paper and tied the ends so it looked like a candy; my last sweeties for them.

The tears began as I read Annet what I wrote for her. Luckily I quickly recovered from crying, Annet has been super emotional over not being visited by any family members and then from Auntie Jo leaving the other night, I didn't want to precipitate any more tears. Then after the excitement of the sweeties, they all stretched out their hands and Annet prayed for me and my journey and then Auntie Esther elaborated, and I had a few more tears. Auntie Monica had many tears, and beautiful words for me that Auntie Sarah translated. Then dear Annet began to bawl, then Oscar started in and finally Cocus. Annet was still crying as I left, poor baby girl (and that is my nickname for her, 'baby girl').

The whole good-bye process took an hour. And at 12:10 it was time to go. The van didn't start, the battery was dead; 'God are you telling me to stay?', I thought. But quickly we got it jumped and again, it was good-bye. The traffic was horrific, it took us 40 minutes to go 6 km and again I thought, 'God are you telling me to stay?'. But with only a few minutes to spare I made it through all security measures and boarded the plane immediately.

Maybe I'll be back one day.

On my way home I'm reading Wrecked again, as I did on my way to Uganda. Although I'm grateful to hear the words that I've done so much, I think about the babies at Sanyu that still don't have a mommy to love them, to our children at Rafiki who only have aunties and uncles, to the street kids who mostly will remain that way. Wrecked says, "In a world that refuses to be healed, we must face the fact that we are not the heroes of our stories." I can not solve the world's problems, nor Uganda's, but my heart will be forever wrecked for the children of Rafiki Africa Ministries, and for all the other abandoned children of the world.

Just as the Father loves me, and you, and these children; I will forever have them in my heart. And I guess I now know what people were warning me about, the heart-breaking, heart-wrenching literal good-bye, but also the figurative good-bye to life as it was before.

　

　

　

Nearing the end...

The kids are right now watching a movie, it's Friday so it's movie night, and since today things were as they usually are, it doesn't quite feel like I'm leaving at noon tomorrow. I still had them working hard on their Bible verse and doing activities this afternoon, and I just did some redecorating of their hallways to change up some of the children's work. I've redone their bulletin boards and added/changed a lot to what was hanging, and in a few months it will all be redone again by another missionary.

When Fauziya fell on me telling me not to go and then Annet got in my lap to tell me she missed Auntie Jo and didn't want me to go to America, I feel sad again about being another one that leaves them. I wish I could just bring them all home with me!

I just re-looked briefly at all my photos of the kids, I have over 700 of the kids alone, and then another 1,500 of Uganda, my safari, and other ministry opportunities. So here are a few more cute ones of the precious faces I'm leaving behind in the morning.

Please pray for me as I travel to DuBai for a pit stop to visit a college girlfriend and then continue my journey to NY on Monday. Pray not only for my safety, but for the kids and staff as I leave, and for my heart as I say good-bye.

I'll let you know I've arrived home safely. Thanks for being with me on this journey!!

Learned & Learning

What I've learned:

1. How to be thankful, for basic things in particular.

2. That I am extremely blessed. Not only with money and material things, but with gifts and talents, and supportive, loving friends and family.

3. That the Bible is a great resource to combat issues, understand how others have triumphed through difficulties, and how God wants me to live. This is an ongoing learning experience, that began before my arrival but that I was very aware of during my time here.

4. Several Lugandan words (I spelled them the way they sound to me, not necessarily properly):

Sidika - quiet Sidika wo - hush Moi Sidike - shut up

Abaana - children Owanji - Yes Nada - no

Abawala - girls Abalunghi - boys Kalle - you're welcome

Tulle - sit down Weballe - Thank you Jinde - I am fine

Mele - Food Jangu - come Vaio - go

5. That I function on a very high level and my switch is turned on all the time; I'm always aware of my surroundings and environment, but most people are not.

6. That I have an ability to teach and direct others.

7. That kids grow up way too fast, and sometimes too soon, and that spending quality time with them is essential.

8. That we all could use some psychotherapy, or at least a best friend that tells you when you're wrong, listens well, and offers good advice.

9. That I am thankful to live in a place that has mixed cultures, races and languages, because here I stick out way too much.

10. How to drive on the wrong side of the car and the wrong side of the road.


What I still need to work on:

1. Patience.

2. Focusing on my own work and not getting frustrated with others' lack of work ethic.

3. Finding peace and quiet time for myself (although I did this to some extent every day, Auntie Jo still thinks I need more "me" time).

4. Being gentle when instructing others.

5. That other people can do the work too, it might not be to my standards, or the way I do it, but that is ok. 11.29.12

Clothes, Shopping & Congo

Another blog of randomness...

Today was my last day off, I did laundry, went grocery shopping, cleaned, organized and started packing. Many of my clothes are ruined from the crappy washing machine and intense African sun, so some of them I am merely returning with because I want to use them to cushion the gifts I'm bringing home, and then to the trash they go. Some of my clothes are staying here simply because I can spare them and some of the staff members would like them. Since I also brought an entire suitcase full of donations and activity folders, I can fit one suitcase inside the other and only have to return with a carry-on and one suitcase! I am quite a light packer, although from previous blogs you can see that 9 outfits was a bit extreme, I'm so sick of my clothes!!!

We took two of the kids grocery shopping with us today, it's an extra treat when they are on holiday. Sometimes I am concerned that these kids live sheltered lives, they hardly get out, especially the littlest ones who don't go to school. When I am out on a walk it is very typical for me to see a four year old walking by himself with a little jerry can for water, but our kids don't know how to walk by themselves to school. It's certainly one of my suggestions on their evaluation: when running local errands always take a kid along to help them observe their environment and learn by seeing.

I was reading today about the atrocities in Congo, do you know that over 1,000 women are raped every day in DRC?! In my facebook post I shared the link (which I never do, besides to my blog) with a comment that maybe it's because I'm only a few hours from these atrocitities, or maybe because they are so egregious, but I am so flabbergasted that CNN and BBC aren't broadcasting about this from every media angle possible because the Congolese deserve as much attention as Syria and Gaza.

http://www.cnn.com/2012/11/27/opinion/congo-war-ignored-vava-tampa/index.html?fb_action_ids=10151327469756096&fb_action_types=og.recommends&fb_source=aggregation&fb_aggregation_id=288381481237582

Walking & Righteousness

I went for a walk with 6 of the kids today in pairs, 3 walks, so I got my exercise in. It was fun to spend some (somewhat) individualized time with them. I geared each length of walk and our discussions based on the age group. With Joshua and Joel, the oldest kids, it was certainly the longest walk and along the busiest route and we talked about school, how to walk properly and about me going back to America. When I went out with Annet and Cocus, kids in the middle, I told them they could hold my hand, but they didn't have to, as long as they walked with me and followed any commands on the busier roads, Cocus always wants to hold my hand. We talked about bricks and how not to react when they smell something horrible, we went past a feed market, but I don't want them reacting like they did if someone is smelling badly. Then after rest time Emma, Carol and I headed out, unfortunately we stopped at one point and Emma was standing in the middle of those terrible biting ants I blogged about on my safari, I had to pull his pants down and take them out of his underwear, suprisingly he didn't cry, and he walked the entire time, he's really growing up!!

And then I got through working on using scissors properly with 7 of them; the funniest thing was that Esther could not cut wihtout sticking her tongue out! I felt successful in really spending quality time with the kids. I'm trying hard not to punish them so that it is all happy time, but Joel was struggling in a lot of ways today with not only making bad choices but lying about it, so he definitely got served some time-outs. I guess I wouldn't be the kind of parent to spoil my child and let them get away with everything, that's good to know about myself!

Here's a great quote from my Bible about righteousness that I love, but for some reason haven't shared yet: "Righteous things do not earn us acceptance by God, rather they are a natural response from people who have experienced God's forgiveness and love."

I feel like 3 months of blog-writing is starting to catch up to me, sorry if the content is boring. Don't worry only a few days left, hang in there, there's bound to be a fruitful one about all I've learned, or how I've grown, or something like that. 11.27.12

 

Teary-eyed

Oh man, it's really starting to feel like I'm coming to the end of my trip. Leaving America wasn't this hard and I think it was because I knew I'd be back in 3 months. If you recall before I left it didn't even hit me that I was leaving until a few days before I left, and now here I am having known it for a while and with a few days left I'm really feeling it, cherising the moments.

Today was our last day of serving at A Perfect Injustice, the street ministry. After all our lessons, activities and devotions were over, just before blessing their meal we told the boys it was our last week. I spoke on behalf of the three of us girls saying that serving there was our favorite ministry opportunity and it's because we love the boys so much (needless to say they were excited to hear that). They had a boy serve as their spokesman thanking us for everything and then one boy prayed for our journey; it was really sweet and touching, and made me aware that when I say/said good-bye it might be forever. Many of the boys hugged us good-bye, and I considered that a really big step for them; we had always been warned that many of them don't touch because of fear or things from their past, so this was especially heart-warming. I got teary-eyed saying good-bye.

The other night Don got me teary-eyed too. Since I had the kids make a picture for Auntie Jo and Auntie Cassady to make a book, and they did something similar for me, the kids know we are leaving soon. So the other night when I asked the boys for prayer requests Don asked to pray for the three of us, and coming from a 4 year old that has the attention span of a fly I was amazed that it even registered to him.

We had a camp-out last night (aka we built a fire and did devotions outside while eating their version of s'mores: butter cookies, chocolate syrup and a marshmallow) and that is another sign of someone's visit coming to an end. I'm doing everything I can to hold on to the precious moments, like holding each child individually and praying with them, doing their first puzzle with them, learning new games, and going for walks.

I know that I have impacted their lives and I'm so thankful for being able to know it. Not only have I changed them through potty-training and learning how to tell time, or identify letters and numbers, but through all my activities, games, play-time opportunities, the love I have given them, and the Bible stories and verses I have taught them. I am so grateful to have a servant's heart, for having heeded the call and travelled here, for loving on my abaana's and having felt their love in return. 11.26.12

Conflict Resolution & last-minute teaching

I led devotions tonight on resolving conflict because I have been reading Matthew and Proverbs daily and within 2 days of each other both books had something to say about it.

The passage in Proverbs (ch 6) was about when you make a mistake. It calls for you to humble yourself and ask for forgiveness, and not to wait, sleep on it, etc. but go right away as soon as you realize your wrong-doing and apologize. I think it is also important when you are the one who has been wronged for you to humble yourself, acknowledge even to the person you are asking to fix their mistakes, that you are often at fault for things too, it helps them feel less attacked and less on the defensive. Matthew 18: 15 tells us in the instance of a person wronging you to go and tell them their mistake. It's a great idea to have an accountability partner, someone to help you rectify ongoing struggles within yourself, you are almost to act like one in this instance. This is not telling us to share someone's mistake or wrong-doing with others in a gossipy way, just go acknowledge the issue with the person and hope for a resolution. If that doesn't work take along one or two people as witnesses to try and get the issue resolved. Very seldom would you have to go to the next step which is to share the concern with many others (a whole church) in hoping to find a resolution. If that doesn't work the passage tells us to treat them as a pagan or tax collector; if they aren't living right, even when taught and shown otherwise, they aren't living the way God has called us to. But notice there are many steps before this last one. We all stumble multiple times and sometimes it is over the same issue, luckily, like God's grace and mercy we are to offer second and third chances for rectifying problems.

What is most interesting, and something Auntie Jo can't stand about this passage, is that ministers and others (including myself, before) in prayer often say, "wherever two or three are gathered in my name, there you are also", but contextually this is talking about conflict resolution. God is ever present, it doesn't require two or three of us to be together. 11.24.12

There are a couple of things I want to work on with the kids, some might be a little young for a few things, but I can't single any child out or they'll have a fit. One thing I want to teach them is how to use scissors, so today I asked Auntie Jo to make big shapes on construction paper and at some point this week we'll learn how to cut! Auntie Jo also started teaching Fauziya how to floss yesterday, but the other big kids should learn too. I also want to work on prayer time with them: how to pray, what to pray for, how to be thankful in prayers, etc.

Just one week left...sad and happy. 11.24.12

 

Bargaining on Black Friday

For a while I went on a hiatus of taking pictures while we're driving somewhere, or taking random shots of the kids every day, but as my time is quickly coming to an end I've picked up my picture taking habits, and started taking lots of videos too so I can hear their sweet voices. Thank God for skype so that when I go back to Philly I can skype with the kids still!

Did a little black Friday shopping today, well, our own version of black Friday, where you have to be a good bargainer to get a bargain! We went to the craft market today to get final presents for family and friends. I can typically get the price down 1/4-1/2 the original price they tell me, so in the end I'm not sure if it's a bargain or just the price you'd pay if you were Ugandan instead of a mazungu.

Today was the kids' last day of school for the year, their school years run similar to the calendar year. They won't start until mid-January, they'll stop in April for a month or so and then resume for a few months, off for August and on from September-November again. So our (all 3 of us missionaries came within a week of eachother and we'll leave within a week of eachother) last week with the kids we'll have plenty of time with them for playing, doing activities, taking pictures and memorizing tender moments, like when they just wake up from nap and want to cuddle, or want to tell you something so sweet. My happiest moment of today was just putting the kids to sleep. I always sing them a hymn, they love 'Amazing Grace', but recently I've added touching each one of them on the head as I sing it, they lay quiet and completely still with beaming smiles when I get to them. It melts my heart! 11.23.12

 

Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving in Uganda was a complete success!! Despite having to use a tiny propane gas oven and the outdoor charcoal stove we did quite well, I think I've become quite resourceful! Everybody was full, satisfied and happy. The two other missionaries served as my sous chefs, prepping, chopping, etc and we had fun listening to Christmas music and stuffing the bird. I even made place cards for everyone, the nerd that I am!

Maybe its just because we've been craving American food, but Auntie Jo said this was the best Thanksgiving meal she's ever had. And then after supper when we had the kids run around to burn off some of the food (luckily only one kid puked from being too full!), Joel ran up to me and said, "Today was a good day Auntie Laura", it was a good day all around; just what I needed!!

I did try to get a turkey, I randomly see them walking around so I know they have them. But when the market boy took me to the area where turkeys were I was not prepared to walk into the middle of cages of hens, turkeys and other fowl clucking, gobbling and flapping their wings. The man grabbed a turkey out of the cage for me and when I asked about the weight he tried to pass the bird over...no thanks, I have no desire to hold a gobbling, struggling turkey by its wings. He said it would cost me the equivalent of about $60 for the turkey and he would include killing it and plucking it in the price, but that was a bit steep for my price range. In the end we settled on two larger chickens (about 5 lbs each...be grateful for your 17 lb turkey!). Our meal included chicken, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, corn, dinner rolls and stuffing! With Fanta for a beverage and an apple crumb pie for dessert, not bad eh? Seriously the chicken was so moist, it literally fell right off the bone! Awesome! And to American standards I used just the iright amount of salt, I don't think my Ugandan friends found it salty enough, but that's what salt shakers are for, right?!

So thankful for the support and love and prayers of my family and friends, for being able to eat a hot meal that fills my belly, for a roof over my head, for a bed to sleep in and for my health. Happy Thanksgiving! 

　

Not my best side

Every few months, maybe even more frequent than that, I get so annoyed with other people's incompetencies. And today is one of those days (ok, maybe it's one of those weeks, or maybe I'm coming to the end of a three month journey that has been challenging in many ways and I'm seeing the home stretch and want to be at the end). It's not that I think I'm better and get everything right all the time, but I try my absolute hardest in everything I do and I wish other people had that same drive; we're serving in the name of the Lord, shouldn't we all have the drive (different person than I was having difficulty with a few weeks ago, he's working really hard!)? This is helping me see that it clearly is my issue/gripe/grievance, and something that I really need to understand, and change about myself.

My dad taught me this phrase a long time ago (beware of a curse word), 'illegitimi non corborundum' it means 'don't let the bastards grind you down'; I have it posted (the latin version) on my wall at work and every time I get annoyed I look at it and smile a little smile. Side note: the other day I suggested that it was my 'corporate world' experience that makes my drivenness so annoying to others here, or vise versa, but hello, I have the same problem at home! What is a girl to do? (Seriously, any suggestions Laurabev@aol.com?)

But I'm trying to combat my annoyance with what I recently read in Colossians 'Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts'. And I just sit there and repeat it to prevent myself from overflowing at someone with anger. It probably in general coincides with a time when I am feeling exhausted, not so much tired, but more burnt out, like I'm overloading myself doing my job and a few axtra assignments and its more than I can bear. I need to stop, subconciously, comparing myself to others when it comes to levels of productivity, focus solely on what I do and perhaps say 'no' to something every once in a while (easier said than done). (Does it bother you how much I love parenthesis?)

I think of that 20/80 rule, where 20% of the people do 80% of the work, this is particularly so in churches. Ever notice you see the same faces at all the events working from set-up to break down, or see the same names on the volunteer list to bring food to the sick? This is the principle I'm struggling with.

Self-observation: in being astute and constantly striving, sometimes I do more harm than good. Case-in-point: After cleaning the pantry this weekend I noticed many extras of items and since tomorrow is shopping, and knowing we've been slightly over budget the past several weeks, I thought I'd tell the administrator of a few items I don't think we need to buy. Which in turn led to the cook, sweet Auntie Monica, getting yelled at for the excess (when I somewhat think it is the person who is doing the purchasing's responsibility as much as the cook's to know what we need)...Totally not my intent to get her yelled at, just me doing more harm than good.

Ugh, frustrated, despite still trying to let peace rule in my heart, or trying to keep the bastards at bay, you choose. And yet, thankful that I can acknowledge my weaknesses and hope for growth. 11.20.12

Gross

Ready for two disgusting things:

1. Two weeks after I got here I washed my towel, since then I have used another towel I brought and have not washed it; that's 9 weeks of using the same towel! If you've ever dried your towel in the African sun you'll understand the abrasive texture it gets and you probably did the same as me.

2. Ok, this one is way worse...Today I left Don, Carol and Emma for about 1 minute and when I came back Don is licking something off his hands and it appears as if its butter. Quickly I ask him what he is licking and Carol says, "Don has vomited". Eeeewwww, the kid was licking his own puke off his hand. (Side Survival Note that I've heard but never experienced and don't suggest that you kids try this at home: If you ever have no water around and are facing dehydration, you can drink your own urine once, but don't do it twice, you'll get sick.)

So what am I thankful for tonight? Fresh, clean towels! These ones are certainly not coming home with me!

Forgiveness

Today we had a full day of serving again (last Monday we didn't get to serve because our van was broken). We went to Sanyu Babies Home this morning and I stuck with the babies (6 months-1 year) today. There were several new babies in the room, I'm not sure if that is because they moved them up from the lower room or simply because they recently were abandoned, sadly based on the malnourished look of most them I'm thinking they were recently brought to the home. They are so precious, its hard to understand why or how they can be abandoned. Even our Oscar, he is a bright boy, cute and loving, and his mom is capable of doing more to support him, but when requesting that she pay for his school fees she threatened that she would take him back and give him to her own mother to look after him, and then he'd never have a chance to go to school, get proper medical attention or even eat adequate food. She seems capable now of taking on the responsibility of raising him but she is dodging it?! It is really sad to see.

This afternoon we went to A Perfect Injustice and taught them about forgiveness, God's forgiveness, other people's forgiveness and forgiving others. Auntie Sarah explained all the different types of forgiveness, Auntie Cassady explained the story of Joseph forgiving his brothers and then I led them in an activity and game. I drew and cut out a bare tree about 18" tall and then asked every child to write their names on one side of a leaf and the words 'I am forgiven' and 'I forgive' on the other side and then we pasted our leaves of the Forgiving Tree. I used the illustration that before having Jesus in our hearts our tree is bare and dying, but we can be fruitful through Him. Cute, eh? Some of the boys shared some sad stories of having to forgive and being forgiven, but at the end of our time there I got to hear a great story about a Muslim boy who was a street kid for 4 years and through A Perfect Injustice he came to know Jesus, was adopted into the boys' home they have, they renamed him Isaac and he is completing high school shortly. He comes back to share his story and encourage the kids towards reconciliation with their families and towards Christ when he is on holiday from school.

Tonight I am so thankful for the opportunity to be encouraged in the service of ministry by salvation stories such as Isaac's, to know that the work we do makes a difference. 11.19.12

 

Modern-day mission work

I can not imagine going through the trials that Paul experienced, all the struggles he endured to spread the love of Jesus, and how he just kept on preaching despite being imprisoned, and he did it joyfully! Since I've just read through the books of Galations, Ephesians, Philippians and Colossians, I think I am more grateful for Paul's work and I believe that without him Christianity wouldn't have the popularity it does today. He did so much to spread, encourage and continuously foster the hearts of those he originally preached to.

I am also very thankful that my missional experience is happening in the 21st century where I can receive and send emails, I can skype my sister and see her growing belly, and I can read about what is happening globally, plus keep all of you informed of my journey, both physically and spiritually. (I reached 3000 page views on Saturday and believe it to be about 75 people that read my blog daily now. Thank you!) Paul didn't have any modern conventions and yet he spread the truth of Jesus so broadly on his journeys.

So tonight I'm thankful for Paul and modern conventions! 11.18.12

Quiet Lives

I read my daily devotion this morning from God Calling and it was called Quiet Lives, it was based on Matthew 25:21: Well done, thou good and faithful servant...enter thou into the joy of thy lord. And it follows with some words as if written by God saying, "The world may never see it, the humble, patient, quiet service, but I see it, and My reward is not Earth's fame, Earth's wealth, Earth's pleasures, but the Joy Divine."

Reading through Matthew 13 with all the Parables and how in Jesus' hometown they were far from believers, its evident that its seldom the famous names, the large leaders who willingly search for God's joy and serve faithfully in His name.

So thank you all that willingly and joyfully go and visit the lonely, or care for the sick, thank you to those who clean up the mess of this world, quietly and humbly in only the sight of God for the glory of His kingdom. I'm thinking of many of you that read this blog that have set a great example to me. 

 

Neverland

As I think back to the beginning of my arrival, I realize how much these kids have grown and changed. Emma now can both sou sou (pee) and poop on the potty and no longer wears pampers to bed; I potty trained a boy! Carol can identify almost all her letters. Joshua is such a better reader. Brenda and Annet no longer have the attitude when you correct or discipline them. They all grew in height too!! Sometimes I think I just wouldn't want kids because Never, Neverland doesn't exist, and they'd all grow up and I'd miss their tiny precious years, the years of their innocence. 11.16.12

                                                                       Fauziya

                                                                               Joel

Jumping rope with Auntie Sarah

Just after naptime when delerium is still evident.

 

Friends

At devotion/praise time Cocus and Brenda seemed to be dancing in a similar way and they both noticed it, so Brenda grabbed his hand and told me that Cocus was her friend. (Cocus is the one with the absess in his back from spinal tb, and we've been praying for him a lot this week, just focusing on his emotional well-being and that he would feel encouraged and uplifted.) So Brenda's friendship was a great extra boost to his little ego. Then after our devotion and during prayer time I see Brenda rubbing his head and back. Joshua, the eldest saw it too as the prayer ended and he removed her hand from Cocus (ok, you could think Joshua was jealous and that is why he removed it, it could be some silly childish romance thing), but she turned to Joshua and said, "No, Cocus is my friend" and went back to rubbing his back gently and lovingly, it was the sweetest thing to watch. 11.15.12

Couldn't catch them with the camera in the act of sharing their friendship, but at least you know who is who:

 

On the Mount

I woke up this morning, got the kids ready for school, readied myself and did several loads of laundry, but when I realized I washed my own clothes without soap, I thought, maybe I'm a bit distracted this morning. One might say I woke up on the wrong side of the bed; I didn't respond to anyone with unkindness, but on the inside I wasn't feeling very kind.

Even though yesterday was my day off (and I enjoyed my leisurely day with a run, grocery shopping, lunch at the cafe and working on a project for the kids and concluded with a lengthy, fully encompassing deep discussion with Auntie Jo), I still felt like I wasn't emotionally or spiritually capable of serving today at Mengo Youth Development. So I opted to stay behind, finish doing laundry, make Carol and Don's beds, and spend the bulk of my day in the Word, praying and listening to my favorite Hillsong United songs.

I opted for the Sermon on the Mount as my starting point. It was fulfilling to read, and as my Bible is of the study variety, there was a great discussion on the sermon being about making our inner appearances match our outter appearance, and maybe that's how I was feeling, mismatched from inner to outer. Yes, I woke up, put on a cute skirt and some jewelry, but I wasn't really ready for my day on the inside, and I didn't want to short change the kids in my serving, they deserved the best of me and I just couldn't do it today. I suppose I don't acknowledge this enough in my "normal" life, maybe if I did every day I would be kind and loving even of my enemies, never judging, never worrying, always full of salt and light, and always seeking Him. Probably not, but acknowledging this need to slow down and serve myself even after a day of rest is a good lesson to learn. 11.15.12

 

Verse & Song

Since the children of Uganda learn by repetition, they have memorized a verse for each week I've been here leading them! I'm totally impressed with them and excited for all that they've learned, and hoping they carry this wisdom and the stories with them. Now at random times I'll just say the first (and sometimes second) word of the verse and they complete it.

My first week they learned, "Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this, to look after orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep from being polluted by the world." James 1:27 It is the motto of Rafiki Africa Ministries, I've got a cute video of them doing the motions along with the verse.

Then we learned, "God saw all that He had made and it was very good" Genesis 1:31. While learning about manners and good behavior we learned The Golden Rule, "do unto others as you would have them do to you", Luke 6:31. We memorized at least 7 of the Ten Commandments when we learned about Moses. When reading Noah we learned "I have set my rainbow in the clouds and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth" Genesis 9:13. We learned "Thy word have I hid in my heart that I will not sin against thee." while learning the B-I-B-L-E song in sign language one week.

One week was a bit complicated and I didn't get much time to work with them, so I taught them the story about Lazarus dying and the shortest verse in the Bible, "Jesus wept" and then also told them where the song I had been singing to them was from "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path", Psalm 119:105. While studying Ruth and Naomi's story I taught them Ruth 2:12, " May you be richly rewarded by the Lord, under whose wings you have come to take refuge." And this week we are learning about Joseph (as in son of Jacob, not Mary and Joseph) so I chose Genesis 45:5, "And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you."

Next week we are going to discuss thanksgiving and memorize Colossians 3:17, then the last week I am here we are going to work on Psalm 23. They are impressive, right?!

In addition to all these verses, they've all taught me some songs and I've taught them a few, including a prayer my family sings at the dinner table occassionaly: God we thank you (2x), Once again (2x), We will ask your blessing (2x), Amen (2x). I want to teach them 'Beloved, let us love one another', from 1 John 4:7-8.

I sing them a song before they go to sleep most nights, I choose soft hymns because nobody sings hymns anymore, it helps them settle down and they're picking them up too!

Teaching and Learning

This morning the girls were slow and hesitant in getting ready for school because of a cockroach, although they told me it was dead (several hours later when I remembered it was there and to take care of it, I found out it wasn't really dead, just in severe pain, I ended the pain). Then Oscar started screaming and crying during nap time, and I rushed in to see a lizard on the ceiling, the little guy was less than two inches long and this 4' kid was freaking out. Seriously, most of the time we are outside one of them picks up a bug and brings it to me to see, and here they are bugging out, is it because it is inside their home? They are so funny! (By the way, haven't seen the mouse recently, maybe he found another home!)

Today I really enjoyed my afternoon with the kids, we saw these beautiful multi-colored birds fly into the tree just outside our compound, and they were so enamored by it. They sat with me watching the birds and talking about it for quite some time; at one point I couldn't see the last one in the tree, but they all could, I can't remember which kid it was but one of them said, "Auntie, you take your goggles (sunglasses) off, then you will see." It is funny how they process things sometimes. I'd like to think its my enthusiasm at things like birds, etc. that get them excited, but then I realize that they run to tell me about the tiniest bug or random thing they see, so it is just how they are! (Ohmygoodness I sound like my mother!!)

After our bird watching I wanted to work with Fauziya on letters and phonics, but the other kids wanted to participate too, so we had an impromtu lesson at the picnic table this afternoon, me donning lowercase letters with a picture on the back. I had the youngest kids tell me the letters, and the older kids share the sound it makes, then we all guessed what picture was on the back. I couldn't believe how attentive they were! I told Joshua he could read me a book after school every day this week and he's holding me to it, except today he read it to whomever was interested, and that means most of the kids. They really do love learning and helping whenever possible!

Uncle Joseph (the director) left for America today to join his wife and daughter and spend the holidays in the states while fundraising and attending speaking engagements. I was a bit teary-eyed watching the kids say good-bye to him, knowing my turn is coming and I am going to miss them terribly. Before I came to Uganda I really struggled with the thought of being another person that enters their lives and leaves them, much like their parents, grandparents, etc. Someone tried to encourage me that I am giving them what they need while I am here, and that is what my purpose is and I have to own only that level of responsibility, love them as much as I can, teach them, and help them grow in godliness, wisdom and knowledge. I'm struggling with this concept again, but the inevitable will happen, I will leave; we all have seasons and relationships that come and go. 11.13.12

The best view

I was walking to buy eggs the other morning, we buy 30 eggs for 8500 UGX (about $3) once or twice a week. Instead of recycled cardboard egg cartons they have plastic ones you take with you, so I have three of them in my hand and I only have to walk pretty much the distance of taking the kids to school, maybe a little over a 1/4 mile. As I round this one turn, it is my favorite view of Kampala, usually I am walking there around 7:30 or 8, the sun hasn't been up long and there are just these two beautiful hills looking back at you in all their glory. I get to this same point and I thank God for the beauty of His creation. But I also notice all the sounds I hear on my walk, a cow mooing, a chicken clucking, a rooster crowing, some unidentified bird singing, a goat bleating, a dog barking, children playing, water running. It's really spectacular! And I remark about this view to my Ugandan friends, but they don't notice it; and I am reminded of that great verse, I think maybe its in one of the gospels, that a prophet is without honor in his own country. How often we miss the beauty of things right before our very eyes.

 

Someone's story

I included this in my blog writing last night, but decided to revise it, so after this, check below:

We didn't have 'adult' devotions tonight since our evening was a bit jumbled up, but one of the guys asked to talk to me alone and asked for me to pray with him. He was struggling not only with his destiny but also some more immediate emotional needs. Now, I wouldn't share this story if that were it, but several days ago, after being quite fed-up with this person's work ethic I went to the Director to discuss my concerns. Me and this person had already been struggling with communiction, or lack thereof. Over the past several days this person has gone from having a visible downcasted nature to an involved, happy and hard-working person (what he was when I first arrives). So while I was making my sauce and he walked by I said, " I don't know what's happened to you the past few days but I like you." I know what happened, he got talked to and stepped up his game, but rather than say that I opted to acknowledge this change with some positive reinforcement. And I guess he was moved by what I said and decided he wanted to talk through some things. I could step back and think, maybe I was too hard on him in my criticism to the Director (criticism which I presented in a very rational, Biblical way), or I could be thankful for the opportunity to challenge him and that he felt I could be his confidante and pray with him; of course I like the latter best, I'm a compassionate bulldozer most of the time. And that was the end of my night, well except for writing this and doing my typical evening routine of some ab work and dancing. Goodnight! 11.10.12

So the reason for revisiting the above was because of our sermon this morning. It was a telecast from Watoto Central (we go to Watoto North) where John & Helen Burns, two Canadians, preached about Your Life as a Story (to hear the sermon, a good one, download it http://www.watotochurch.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=37&Itemid=86). The sermon was based on Matthew 13, where Jesus explains why he teaches using parables (which are stories meant to teach you lessons). Some of the highlights that I wrote down were:

-share the good and bad parts of your story, you never know how you can reach someone or relate to them with your inability to get it all right

-don't communicate to be right all the time, communicate to share and understand the stories being told

-seek to find identity and value from the bigger picture story (it's not all about you)

-we learn more from the brokenness than all the successes, consider all the struggles in the Bible

-leave an inheritance for future generations, not a financial inheritance but an opportunity to serve as an example

-don't take common things in your story for granted; be attentive

So after and during the sermon I thought more about what I wrote last night. Even last night as I wrote it I thought of some of what my dad has written in his Dig recently (check out www.findwisdomnow.com) about hearing each other's stories to have more compassion for one another. Should I have tried to sit with this guy first. I had attempted to teach through devotions some of the things I was struggling with regarding his behavior, and I prayed and contemplated speaking with the director for several days before actually doing so (wow, is that me having some patience?!). Last night he revealed some of his struggles, including that he rides his bike for 1-1 1/2 hours each way to get to and from school 3 days a week, that's exhausting in and of itself!

The things I complained about were greater than he isn't doing his job, they were more could this be detrimental to the ministry. And if he has turned around that quickly, maybe he just needed to be told what image he was creating, but when he told me he felt like so many people hate him, my heart hurt. I wish we could have had last night's conversation before I went to the Director, but since it's always 20/20 hindsight, I can only consider the other person's story next time before I rush to make my judgements and accusations.  

　

　

Just another Saturday

From 7:15 this morning until I write right now at 9:45 pm I have had 30 minutes to myself and that was while I showered. After bathing and dressing the kids and helping with breakfast I immediately got started on cleaning the compound. I swept the entire main house and guest house (where the missionaries stay), mopped the verandah and the guest house, cleaned the mop ( atowel that smells disgusting) and some bath mats, wiped down the tables and benches, and cleaned the baseboards in half the house. I was a sweaty mess at noon when I finished. We were expecting guests today and needed the compound to look its best.

Unfortunately, looking so well didn't last because, as is typical in the rainy season, it rained and poured; about 20 minutes after I got out of the shower it started and it didn't let up in intensity for several hours. I made tomato sauce and jell-o (weird combo) during nap time and just when I thought I was going to sit down and rest for a few minutes, the kids got up to work on an activity. No rest for me; this is not complaining, I'm just sharing with you my busy day and all that it entails! I could be less busy, enjoy more solitude and relaxation, but if you know me, that isn't very me. To have down time, not necessarily rest time, from 1:30-4 several days a week is more than enough for me.

After directing the kids with the activity and giving them snack I began dinner preparations. I made spaghetti, sauce, and meat for supper; every day's meal is the same, week in, week out, so its spaghetti every Saturday night. Of course all our company shows up at 6 when it's bathing time and we're trying to put finishing touches on supper. They didn't seem to mind the chaos, it was a bunch of college students more interested in taking photos of the kids than what the house looked like. The only concern was that the influx of 7 college students was a bit of excitement for the kids. They made it through supper, but afterwards was awkward. Typically the kids go for devotions on the mat, but instead there were 7 college kids sitting around drinking African tea and eatting samosas on their mat area. I improvised and played a game around the table until it was time for the college kids to go and time for us to get through devotions as usual. The kids were wound up, but they were exhausted by the time their heads were hitting the pillow. 11.10.12

Not a photo from today, but me cleaning regardless.

Serving, Wisdom and Jinja

Yesterday we served at Mengo Youth Development again and after teaching my P2 class about daily activities we perform to keep ourselves proper and our surroundings in good order, they had lunch and then we led them in some devotion time. Uncle Moses led them in singing, except I added Hallelujah/Praise Ye the Lord, cause its a fun one that gets them up and down and in competition so they are in to it. And then I taught them what parables are and read two to them, the Prodigal Son and the Good Samaritan, they are actually probably two of my favorite parables. After discussing the morals and point of the stories they each went to their classrooms to draw a scene from the story while I passed out sweeties (candy). It was another wonderful day of serving.

It wasn't my turn last night but I led devotions anyway. I've been thinking about Proverbs a lot, it might be my favorite book of the Bible, although I haven't read it cover to cover in the past decade (something I really need to change)! Anyway, in my 20 year old Study Bible I found a few great sentences about Proverbs and its wisdom: Wisdom is above all practical and down to earth...Wisdom teaches you how to live...How do you become a wise person? You must first begin to listen...But becoming wise requires self-discipline to study and humbly seek wisdom at every opportunity. Old King Solomon wisely says, and thanks to my dad I know it, the beginning of wisdom is this, get wisdom.

Today the two other missionaries and I set out on our own adventure to Jinja, a city about 60 km from our home. It was our first taxi experience, and boy was it an experience, think minivan, but just a little bit longer, filled with 15 adults, 2 children, and a TV, with a mattress and other items in the boot (trunk area) and on top of the van. Then consider the stereotype of an African and their hygiene, add that it is raining so all the windows are closed, and you're getting close to understanding how I'm feeling at this point, knowing its going to be at least 1.5 hours before we reach Jinja. Right before we reached Jinja (oh by the way, yes it only costs $2 for a 60 km ride), they told us muzungus to get off and switch taxis, which would have been ok, if we had another taxi to get on to. But the guy left in charge of us was unhelpful and I'd like to use many expletives to explain him, but it was a confusing and aggravating 10 minutes, in the end all resolved itself just fine, but it was both sketchey and dicey for a minute and we were getting visibly peeved, luckily a nice gentleman came to our rescue, to which we were very grateful! (Mom, stop worrying, we are fine, I was my usual assertive, confident self to keep some people away and also was the protective one taking care of my girls!)

Our purpose in going to Jinja was to go to Amazima Ministries. If you've been reading my blogs from the beginning you'll recall my reference to the book Kisses from Katie, well, yup, we got to go to her ministry! We had received advice to use a boda named Fred and given his number, and he was our knight in shining armor after the taxi fiasco! He was a perfect tour guide, honest, nice, and fair-priced. Luckily we didn't get our hopes up for much from Amazima, also having been fore-warned, because Katie home schools her girls and wasn't around and the place we were at, where they serve food to over 500 kids every Saturday, is only a buzz on Saturdays. But we got some additional info about the ministry and the amazing work they do, and it truly is amazing! After our brief tour there Fred took us for a beautiful view of the Nile (the source of the Nile river is in Jinja), we saw some monkeys along our travels and then to a restaurant called 2 Friends, where I had a chicken sandwich with cheese, bacon and a chili sauce, oh it was soooo good! I don't think I'm looking forward to food the way Auntie Jo is, especially since I can't eat as much as I used to (my portions have seriously diminished), but having westernized food for lunch instead of posho and beans is such a treat! We had a much easier and more relaxed ride home luckily! 

 

Being Grateful

Considering Thanksgiving is coming up...

Things I will be grateful for when I return:

-comfy sofas and chairs

-conversation around the table, the kids are told to be silent

-a real mattress

-not walking outside to use the bathroom

-running water and consistent electricity

-clean water to brush my teeth

-not having to clean outside areas

-carpeting

-a washer and dryer

-swiffer wet jet & vacuum

-unlimited, always available internet

-walking barefoot in my house

-closing my bedroom door

-vegetable and potato peeler

-my car, and the ability to drive when I need/want to

-street lights

-paved roads (even when there is construction)

-clothes, other than the 9 outfits I have

-my purse, I didn't bring one?!

-using an outlet without a converter

-not getting stared at and having someone yell mazungu to get my attention

-calling/texting a friend or family member at any time

-having a clock with the correct time, my phone wouldn't adjust so I have to do the math to figure out my alarm

-sleeping in on saturdays

-sports

-not sleeping under a mosquito net or in a bunk bed

-having a shower curtain

-water pressure

The compound/main house and a photo of my bedroom (not bad, eh?!):

The mouse, manners and forgiveness

I've got this ongoing battle with this stupid mouse in my room. Why won't it just leave me alone, I don't have any food in my room! My room was torn apart last night as I was trying to shoo it away; I'm thinking its about time this battle come to an end, he's disrupting my sleep and making me crazy. I wonder if they have mouse traps in Uganda, or if it would just get covered by lizards and I'd never catch that stupid mouse.

The kids had off from school today to allow their poor teachers to recover from the long day yesterday and so we didn't go out for ministry this morning, we decided to just keep it to serving in the afternoon. Its harder to go hungry all day when you are around the possibilities of food, like when your friend is eatting pineapple, or the kids are eating posho, beans and avocadoes.

I prepared our street ministry lesson activity this morning, after having decided to discuss manners and proper behavior. I gave them several key words to use: please, thank you, etc. And then made a short story including all the key words and assigned them the key words to stand up at, it helps get some energy out and keep them focused on listening. Its a bit difficult teaching to the street kids in that I can only say one or two English sentences before somebody will translate for me into Luganda. Then I taught them about proper behavior like, don't litter, keep time, share with others, wait your turn, etc. and had them do some charades, that was cute. I'm amazed at what they can retain, and for some reason what they desire to keep. I was hoping to leave all the work I did to prepare for the proper behavior lesson behind, it was just paper, albeit, with bright and colorful words written on it, but some of the kids still wanted it and dummy me, left it behind pinned to the board of chalk, so there was nothing to leave behind.

As we headed over to play a game in the abandoned lot neighboring the church they meet at, a kid ran up and asked to escort me to the field and told me I was a good teacher, melt your heart. I am broken every time I leave the street ministry, seeing how sweet some of these boys can be, how precious they are and then how broken they are, considering how many horrible things they see everyday, how hungry they are for food and love and attention. At least tonight API was able to take a kid off the street and welcome them into one of their boys' homes!

Cassady led us in devotions on forgiveness tonight, how great God's forgiveness is towards us, how it should be an example of our forgiveness of others, and how easy it can be to ask for forgiveness and worry no more. Jo gave us a great illustration of how God looks at our transgressions, one that I hope to use when I teach the street kids about forgiveness: we look at eachother's sins like a high rise in a city, comparing the number of stories we have to the number of sins we have, or how great each sin is, but when God views our sin, he sees us from the top, in plan view, and therefore can't see the comparison of someone else's sin to our own, its only about seeking forgiveness and correcting ourselves that God cares about. Good devo! 11.5.12

Speech Day

Yesterday was Speech Day at Little Rina's Primary School, the kids' school. Interestingly enough and thankfully, the only speech was by the Director of the school. All the kids performed dances, plays, poems, sang songs, etc. and the highlight of the day was Oscar's graduation from Top Class to Primary 1, essentially a kindergarten graduation. Oscar isn't quite 6 years old and he can read quite well, and he absorbs everything you say, even if it appears that he is not paying attention.

The experience at Speech Day was very un-American. They had a DJ provide music for any interludes, and boy did he provide music, a lot of it was American rap and he did n't even bleep over the bad words! And then some of the costumes and dances were very suggestive, and in providing a poem of morals kids mentioned things like, husbands stay faithful to your wives, use protection to prevent the spread of HIV, etc. This was all after I opened the ceremony in prayer! If this had happened at home the news vans would have been rolling in and the Director would have been booted out.

Ok, so despite being a bit unconventional to my standards, ohmygosh and long (over 5 hours), the kids were super cute! Annet, who is in middle class, led this cute little dance into an exchange with her classmate about meeting eachother. Jerom led his baby class in 'Oh be careful little eyes what you see'. And all the others danced, sang and participated beautifully. And then to see Oscar in his cute little suit, dancing with a little girl from his class, and then beaming proudly in his graduation cap and gown...love him!

The kids were really excited about the whole day, and I was really proud of how well they did. I even got to stand up to represent Oscar's family, I think he was happy to have the only muzungu momma up there. 11.4.12

 

Watoto Tour

Last night we celebrated Carol's 4th birthday, Auntie Jo made the most amazing cake and icing, and made it pink for the princess!! It was delicious!

Today we went on a tour of some of the Watoto Children's Homes with other folks from Watoto churches in Kampala. The bus aspect was an experience in and of itself. First of all, you know how there are two seats on each side of the bus? Yeah, well these were more like 1.5 seats per side, but you were expected to sit two per seat, it was narrow! And then as the bus was filling up people started flipping down seats to fill the aisle too...wow!

We first visited a baby's home in the center of Kampala, it was unlike any other baby home we have served in. The place was immaculate, painted beautifully with animals and bright colors and modern, westernized toys and baby stuff. Not only was it obvious that Watoto was started by the west (shout out to my Canadian relatives), but they still have a large influence on the ministry. As we went to the villages to see the children's home, the organization and care taken at the baby's home was evident in the other homes we visited. What struck me the most was the beauty of the land they had chosen for development, they chose some absolutely gorgeous, lush pieces of land. Also, at the largest site they have 1500 children and it is a very well-run, sustainable village; they raise 100 goats to provide milk for the babies, they run a vocational school and they build the beds, chairs, desks, tables, etc that they need for the villages, and then some to make the ministry profit. There is a hierarchy to the housing and mamas that take care of the babies so that the homes are very well managed.

Overall I was very impressed with the organization and facilities, although the tour guide wasn't that informative, and the rain and mud put a bit of a damper on maneuverability. Reflecting, I was also disappointed not to have much interaction with the children; some of these kids are going to be performing at my church in Philly in 3 weeks and I was really hoping to send along a message, or at least meet a few of them, but we saw very few kids. On a brighter note, we did get to meet Esther and Moses, the first babies to live in the babies home, who are now about 4 and 5.

Tonight, we had another successful game night back with our kids! This time the big kids played Old Maid, the middle ones played chutes and ladders and the little ones played a matching numbers game. I think its frustrating for all of us aunties to teach these games, but I keep encouraging us because even if they don't learn the concept of the game, or don't listen very well, they still are learning to take turns, not cheat, follow the rules, etc.

Finally, tonight I led devotions on the power of our mouths. I read from 2 Timothy 2: 14-26 and James 3:1-12, they are somewhat different messages, but it is very clear that we have two choices: use our mouths to do good or evil. We all discussed the specific ways in which we struggle, whether we are quarrelsome and argumentative, or gossipy, or offering godless chatter, not instructing gently (that's the one I struggle with a lot), or if we simply are putting others down. I asked us to share our weaknesses so we can pray for eachother, but also help eachother to be more accountable for the ways in which we use our mouths. It was a very fruitful discussion, and a good end to my day.

One thing I forgot to share: it has been quite cold here! Ok, relatively speaking. I have been wearing a sweatshirt every morning, brought a long sleeve on our tour today and I wake up freezing every night, crazy, eh?